A few months back, I heard about something called the ‘Pink Tax’. Being a logical individual, I figured it was surrounding the idea that items which are the color pink cost more since pink is a color that you need to mix and match pigments and colors with to achieve rather than easy to use colors like red, blue and green. Naturally, I was wrong, because society doesn’t work on logical paradigms anymore; apparently, this ‘pink tax’ is a tax that only women are subject to because it’s ‘applied’ to all of their products. Succinctly, it’s a neat little buzzword that Social Justice folks and modern third-wave feminists have created to complain about paying more for their products.

There are plenty of folks who have debunked the ‘Pink Tax’ already, like YouTube logic personalities such as Shoe0nhead and TL;DR. Even if those well-explained folks didn’t exist, you wouldn’t need them to explain that there is no ‘Pink Tax’ because at any point in time, a man can go buy a deodorant marketed towards women and a woman can go buy deodorant marketed towards man. Thus, by using an iota of brain-power, any average Joe or Joanne would be able to logically suss out that the reason different products cost different prices is because of product quality, ingredients used, packaging and marketing required to ensure sales. Of course, the people bitching about the ‘Pink Tax’ naturally fall into the classic two camps that I quip about often here; camp one is full of simps and morons who are easy prey to marketing and media and don’t think for themselves because that shit’s hard (apparently), and camp two is full of predatory anal fudge who push shit like this ‘Pink Tax’ because the only thing they are good at is stirring up controversy and continue to do just this because they know how goddamn irrelevant and useless to society they are.

While my main focus with this isn’t to pull out examples just to prove how stupid this ‘Pink Tax’ is, because if I wanted to do that I’d just go to the original article on Mic! and laugh at how fucking retarded the girl in the video is while simultaneously being extremely smarmy and uncomfortably cock-sure on something she clearly doesn’t get. What I’m going to do instead is pull up examples all over the web as evidence not just that the ‘Pink Tax’ is ridiculous, but the people who are backing it are just as irrational.

Ugh, that background..

One of the reasons I can’t stand Tumblr, aside from all the teenagers who have gravitated there and filled it with tripe rather than going to their proper place on the Internet (Livejournal, if you were wondering), is its fucking atrocious thread formatting. It’s nearly impossible to follow a long conversation because it uses this moronic ‘climbing out of the hole’ approach where the topic starter is at the bottom of the hole and then each response is the next step up from that. It defies typical forum structure and logic and baffles me as to how any conversation actually happens when the way it flows runs counterpoint to every single other goddamn website in existence.

For a proper frame of reference so you don’t get lost, we’re focusing on xiki-muffin’s responses. Also, what the fuck is up with kids’ online handles these days? If they’re not over-the-top arrogant and self-aggrandizing, they’re just objectively retarded. I don’t mis the whole ‘XxXSuPeRpRiNcEsSXxX’ that used to fill the landscape, but come on, xiki-muffin? Creativelycultivated? respect-thetrillogy? Fuck, that last one isn’t even spelled right; this modern generation is hella stupid.

Holy fuck, look at those apples and oranges!

Yeah, bitch, I am sure. Want to know why? It’s because I can fucking read. She’s comparing clothing on sale to clothing not on sale, are you kidding me? You moron, read the grey text on the men’s pants. I found the averages of both data sets of data and the men’s set average is $27 and the women’s is about $27.66. Wow, a whole sixty-six cents. The patriarchy is really taking it to you, huh ladies? That’s not even taking into account one data set has more samples than the other and differing ranges, which means the smaller sample size would need to be corrected for to ensure we could be confident in both of them. Additionally, the women’s jeans are three different goddamn styles whereas the men’s are one. Can you be more terrible at making comparisons? Pay attention in your high school studies, you twit. Contrary to what people believe, some lessons are important.

The birth of mads.

When I read this initially, I almost fell out of my chair. I’ve only ever seen people build their anger in real life and while that’s sometimes hysterical, it’s also sometimes terrifying if you’re dealing with people who have explosive rage problems. I’ve never see it happen on the Internet until now, and my god is it funny. I can just feel the unbridled rage come from behind this random girl’s keystrokes; I can vividly envision this nobody getting so pissed about the initial comment about guys paying more for clothing that she just furiously smashed her fingers across her keyboard while nearly foaming at the mouth to correct another nobody because that nobody was a guy and he dared to say that women might have it easy in some areas (hint: Women do have it easy, in everything).

Since none of the women’s jeans this girl posted come even close to visually matching the men’s styles she posted, let alone the actual pant type, I went to Walmart’s website and searched ‘Women’s jeans’ to see what I’d come up with. They’re apparently having a sale on women’s jeans because they’re dirt cheap right now, but here’s a non-clearance pair of straight jeans which should compare more correctly to the men’s pairs as they are also straight jeans. Spoiler alert: the jeans are under ten bucks. Yes, bitch, I am sure, and that’s because I did level-headed ‘research’; I didn’t let some unknown person online ruffle my pre-ruffled bag of feathers simply because they said something I don’t agree with. Stop defining yourself by your idiotic dogmas and define yourself by your merits, actions and your core. Dogmas die, identities don’t.

Wow.

I’m not exactly sure what helped breed these morons who cannot keep a lid on their emotions, and I get that most of these dipshits are indeed teenagers and teenage girls are psychotically emotional and hormonal, but this is unreal. It wasn’t that long ago that I was a teenager and dealing with teenage girls and I honestly don’t remember them being both this stupid and this emotional. Panties are not comparable to briefs and even if they were, she’s comparing a three pack at nine dollars to a two pack at eight-fifty. Also, ten pairs four eight bucks is a ridiculous steal; why are you bitching that you seem to, on average, pay less than men for your clothing? I don’t get the inclusion of the waist tights since men don’t even fucking wear tights. This is just a bad attempt to add shit onto the stack just to make your argument look slightly better, but it fails because anyone with eyes and a brain will see right through it.

Calm down before I have to call Animal Control and report a rabies outbreak, you mongoloid.

These are non-comparisons. Men don’t wear bras and you’re using Victoria’s Secret as your benchmark. This would be like me using my stupidly expensive Nike fitted wicking socks that cost ten bucks for a single pair as a baseline for sock comparisons. I know that I’m paying extra for a brand name and you do too. Stop being willfully obtuse because you’re a walking bag of sodium chloride. As a future hint, men generally don’t give a shit what underwear you have. Hell, we don’t even care if it fucking matches because to us, your best outfit is the one where you don’t have anything on; for the slow, I’m saying men prefer our women naked. It’s you women who have developed this competitiveness with each other involving sexy lingerie, nightgowns and push-up bras. Side note, if you’re a girl and you wear a push-up bra, while I appreciate the cleavage, but stop trying so hard. If you’re uncomfortable with having small tits, get surgery. If not, then stop lying about it. Be comfortable with you; confidence is hot.

Also, you’re expected to wear panties because they have a purpose: to protect your lady-bits. If you don’t want to wear panties, go buy girl’s boxers or boyshorts. Some of them are cheaper and you can get some pairs that I think look far better than panties. Then again, I like when girls go out of their way to look sexy and attractive to me or the male public in general and I go out of my way to dress nice and look like a stud, despite not being fit, for you ladies. If you don’t want to look hot, that’s your choice and that’s cool, but don’t get all pissed when you don’t get any guy trying to sling his dick in you or people telling you that you look tired and frumpy because you chose that look. All actions have consequences; deal with it.

Stay in school, kids. Don’t end up like these people.

Goddamn, this girl is dumb. Women are not expected to buy more clothing at all, you just happen to have a body structure that is conducive to more clothing. If you bothered to work your abdominal muscles, your back muscles and your core regularly, you likely wouldn’t need a bra to hold your titties up.

What’s extremely disappointing is how these girls think they have zero options outside of buying name brand shit and paying a fortune for a specialized tag. It’s even more mystifying how the last girl says you need to compare similar items so the comparison will make sense, which is correct, but then makes the implication that people are comparing semi-expensive men’s jeans to inexpensive women’s jeans. Don’t put that blame on me because I never did that, your dumb Tumblr friend did. Call her out for being a retard who can’t do comparisons properly; don’t shovel your garbage on me because of implied solidarity regardless of obvious idiocy.

Women’s clothes are not generally more expensive. My above ‘research’ proved that because, as I’ve said before, you don’t need more than one shimmering example to win against a sweeping statement. There are more name-brands that are purchased in the women’s market, and that’s because women have created a psychological desire to own things that are name-brand rather than owning generic things that do the same thing and, speaking anecdotally here, tend to be similar if not better quality than the aforementioned name-brand stuff. That isn’t to say I don’t understand the reason for doing so; it’s an implied mark of quality and security in a sea of shit that isn’t vetted for. However, that doesn’t mean that you have to buy name brand stuff or you have to buy products that are marketed towards your sex. In general it’s better to do this because men’s and women’s bodies are different, but you don’t have to do it.

I wanted to search for more than this, but after drudging through that, I kind of want to slam my dick in a vice seeing as that would be a logical and less painful response to what I just read. While I contemplate this, here’s something for an actual laugh:

It’s gryphon, you dip.